Why did the cowboy buy a dachshund? He wanted to get a long little doggy.
Ohhhhh, fuuuuudge what a great Christmas present!! ...To get to visit a filming location from one of my favorite Christmas movies. The house, set in a fictional Indiana town, was home to Ralphie Parker, and set apart from other houses on the street by a mesmerizing "Major Award" in the front window.
Watch the video: Me at A Christmas Story House... Only one thing in the world could've dragged me away from that soft glow of electric sex gleaming in the window--to get back home to edit and post this video for you. Merry Christmas and enjoy my magical trip to The Christmas Story House and Museum in Cleveland, OH... Just A Few Places I've Been!!
Christmas had come officially. We plunged into the cornucopia quivering with desire and the ecstasy of unbridled avarice. – Ralphie Parker
The Old Man [unveiling his major award]: Would you look at that? Would you look at THAT?
Mrs. Parker: What is it?
The Old Man: It's a leg!
Mrs. Parker: But what is it?
The Old Man: Well, it's... A leg, you know, like a statue.
Mrs. Parker: Statue?
The Old Man: Yeah, statue.
Ralphie: Yeah, statue.
Mrs. Parker: Ralphie!
Ralphie as an Adult [narrating]: My mother was trying to insinuate herself between us and the statue.
Ralphie Parker: Some men are Baptists, others Catholics; my father was an Oldsmobile man.
The Old Man: That son of a b!@#$ would freeze up in the middle of summer on the equator!
The Old Man: He looks like a deranged Easter Bunny.
Mrs. Parker: “He does not!”
Mr. Parker: He does, too; he looks like a pink nightmare!
Only one thing in the world could've dragged me away from the soft glow of electric sex gleaming in the window. – Ralphie Parker
Meatloaf, smeatloaf, double beatloaf. I hate meatloaf! – Randy Parker
Adults loved to say things like that but kids knew better. We knew darn well it was always better not to get caught. – Ralphie Parker
The Old Man: Fraa-jeel-aay! It must be Italian!
Mrs. Parker: Uh, I think that says, "Fragile," honey.
Mr. Parker: Huh? Oh, yeah.
Ralphie Parker: Oh fudge! Only I didn’t say ‘fudge.’ I said the word, the big one, the queen-mother of dirty words, the ‘F-dash-dash-dash’ word!
The Old Man: What did you say?
Ralphie Parker: Uh, um—.
The Old Man: That’s what I thought you said. Get in the car. Go on.
Ralphie Parker: It was all over—I was dead. What would it be? The guillotine? Hanging? The chair? The rack? The Chinese water torture? Hmph. Mere child’s play compared to what surely awaited me.
In the heat of battle, my father wove a tapestry of obscenity, that as far as we know is still hanging in space over Lake Michigan. – Ralphie Parker
Source of all quotes and images: A Christmas Story (1983) MGM
This page is intended as a fan tribute to the movie.