Running with scissors since 1970-something... Stay whimsical. Be incredible. It's your story.


Ohhhhh, fuuuuudge what a great Christmas present!! ...To get to visit a filming location from one of my favorite Christmas movies. The house, set in a fictional Indiana town, was home to Ralphie Parker, and set apart from other houses on the street by a mesmerizing "Major Award" in the front window

Watch the video: Me at A Christmas Story House... Only one thing in the world could've dragged me away from that soft glow of electric sex gleaming in the window--to get back home to edit and post this video for you. Merry Christmas and enjoy my magical trip to The Christmas Story House and Museum in Cleveland, OH... Just A Few Places I've Been!!

Let’s face it, most of us are scoffers. But moments before zero hour, it did not pay to take chances. – Ralphie Parker

In our world, you were either a bully, a toady, or one of the nameless rabble of victims. – Ralphie Parker

Mrs. Parker: Yes, that! Do you know where he heard it?

Mrs. Schwartz: Probably from his father.

Mrs. Parker: No! He heard it from your son!

Mrs. Schwartz: What? What? Whaaat?

Schwartz: Ah, no! What did I do, Ma? What? I didn’t do nothing!

Ralphie Parker: Another shot of mysterious, inexorable, official justice.

Oh! The theme I've been waiting for all my life. Listen to this sentence: "A Red Ryder BB gun with a compass in the stock, and this thing which tells time". Poetry. Sheer poetry, Ralph! An A+! – Miss Shields (reading Ralphie's theme in his fantasy, she clutches his essay to her chest)

My old man’s spare tires were only actually tires in the academic sense. They were round and had once been made of rubber. – Ralphie Parker

Now, I had heard that word at least ten times a day from my old man. He worked in profanity the way other artists might work in oils or clay. It was his true medium; a master. – Ralphie Parker

The Old Man: Don’t you touch that! You were always jealous of this lamp.

Mrs. Parker: Jealous of a plastic—.

The Old Man: Jealous! Jealous because I won.

Mrs. Parker: That’s ridiculous. Jealous. Jealous of what? That is the ugliest lamp I have ever seen in my entire life!

Ralphie as an Adult [narrating]: The snap of a few sparks, a quick whiff of ozone, and the lamp blazed forth in unparalleled glory.

The Old Man: Oh, look at that! Will you look at that? Isn't that glorious? It's... it's... it's indescribably beautiful! It reminds me of the Fourth of July!

Ralphie as an Adult [narrating]: (After Mother breaks the Old Man's Major Award, and he is unsuccessful at repairing it) With as much dignity as he could muster, the Old Man gathered up the sad remains of his shattered Major Award. Later that night, alone in the backyard, he buried it next to the garage. Now I could never be sure, but I thought that I heard the sound of "Taps" being played, gently.

Next to me in the blackness lay my oiled blue steel beauty. The greatest Christmas gift I had ever received, or would ever receive. Gradually, I drifted off to sleep, pranging ducks on the wing and getting off spectacular hip shots. – Ralphie as an Adult


Source of all quotes and images: A Christmas Story (1983) MGM

This page is intended as a fan tribute to the movie.